my latest rut :/

I'm stuck in a HUGE rut right now. I hate my job...everyone says I should be thankful for it, but the company does not care about it's employees & I'm too good to continue taking their garbage(loses paychecks & doesn't care to find them, leaves me with no hours & no insurance the day I return from my honeymoon, sends me really far away to work stink hours with rude people, etc). My school is a lot of work & gets very tiring. I stare at the screen working accounting problems for hours & feel like I'll never get it all done. And I miss MY FAMILY like crazy - no amount of friends or distant family can replace them.

I ADORE my Husband. I've never Loved someone so much & the moment he walks out the door I cry for him to skip work & come back to me. Waking up & leaving each other for hours on end is the hardest part of my day & when we're back together again all we want to do is sleep. My mother told us this is how it would be.Funny thing is, we don't have to work as many hours as we do, but we want to be financially safe & ready for as much as possible in our future because so many people we know live life UNPREPARED.

Tomorrow is another glorious 10 hour day at a store I hate followed by more homework. Tonight I leaned on my Husband & just breathed him in. I want more of those MOMENTS. I want more chances to tell him I Love him in person & to tell him how proud I am for all he's doing for our little family. & I want to be in Nashville. I want us to be close to my family & to keep the amazing relationship I already have with them. I miss home sooo bad & Joshua is my only comfort in this town.

I wrote here how I really felt then DELETED it because it shows my anger & frustration at its worst. All I can say is God, help me to deal with foolish people. If it's not love coming out of my mouth, grasp it shut with all Your might. Don't let me live by an eye for an eye, but by FORGIVENESS as You forgive me. Give me the strength to endure another awful day at work, another stressful week of school, & just a few more days without my family. Because through it all, I have my God, my health, a man who Loves me more than words can say, a family better than all the rest, & a puppy that softens my heart.

Nashville, I'll see you in 5 days.