Friday, March 20, 2009

where do we go from college?

My husband & I are both in school. He is finishing his Bachelor's degree at Lee University in youth ministry & I am finishing my 2 year degree at Cleveland State in accounting within the following year. But what happens next?

As a supportive wife of a man called to ministry, I know it is my responsibilty to follow him whereever he is called. However, being a girl who lived her whole life until college in Nashville, it is very hard for me to picture us up & moving far away as soon as he graduates. I have talked to him about & prayed that God will keep us somewhere near my home just in the beginning of our journey in the ministy. Here are my 2 biggest reasons:
1. My parents. They aren't the normal couple who are content to be alone together. Their lives revolve around their children not each other. They've had a rough relationship.
2. My dream job has always been being a mommy. All I wanted was a house-full of children. A baby has been on my heart a lot lately & I would love to be able to have one once Joshua has started his career. However, the thought of having my first child & my mother not being in driving distance scares me. If our child were to cry constantly through the night from an earache, how would I know? If our child fell & busted their chin like I did as a little girl, what would I do? Also, I want my parents to be active in their grandchildren's lives from the very beginning (& my parents aren't much for traveling).

So why am I still working on my degree if I just want to be a mother? Normally, it is very difficult to raise a family on 1 income. I want to be able to set money back before we have children & to be able to go back to work if necessary once our children are older to continue saving for their college. I am a very smart person as well, & do not want to let my mind go to waste. I enjoy gaining knowledge in the matters of math, business, finances, & accounting. It is helpful when becoming an adult & buying a house or budgeting a household.

So while every morning I wake up & say to myself "why am I wasting my time in school?" I think about my love for having a big family that faces as few financial struggles as possible. My mother worked her butt off to always give us more than we needed. We were never in debt & we never struggled, even through my father's 4 heart attacks. I want to be able to give our children the same peace of mind & example to follow. Planning out what job I will have or when I will be able to finish my bachelor's degree(hopefully online) is not possible in the ministry. But knowing what my husband & I want for our lives & knowing what lengths we'll go to to achieve them is definitely a good plan.

Marrying a youth minister has taken me for a ride. This lifestyle has already begun to teach me that no answers will be of any value if they aren't coming from the Lord. While I have done my best to plan out every move in my life, I can no longer do that.I have to have faith. Real faith that says "I have no idea what tomorrow brings or where tomorrow puts us, but I trust in my God, & my God will not let me down."

2 comments:

  1. Geez, Borg this was a long blog. But, don't worry, I read it all.

    I understand what you're saying and I'm right there with you. I agree that it is our responsibility as ministry wives (um, did you ever think you and me would be ministry wives?? ha ha ha ha)to go wherever God leads. But I definitely don't think we necessarily are supposed to "follow." I think that in our cases ministry is a partnership. Moreso than a responsibility, I think its a priviledge to be used by God to further His work. I share your heartache over the possibility (in my case, its a reality) of being far away from your family but I do not want to be a Jonah. If God says, "Go to Sacramento." then there is no way that I'm going to Nashville. He might have one of those VW Bug-sized catfishes in Old Hickory lake swallow me up!

    Borg, ask God to give you a passion for the place (both the literal and figurative place)that He has called you to, or that He will call you to. I trust that He will do that. He wants good for you! Take comfort in that.

    I love you.

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  2. Chath, you left a long comment but don't worry I read all of it ;)

    I definitely do agree it is a privilege. I have always wanted to work with people to bring them to know the love that I have found. My heart breaks when I see the lost & I want to show them that there is something so amazing out there that will rock their world. I do not want to be a Jonah either. I know that where Joshua is needed I cannot hinder that & I cannot let my attitude hinder the work that we are suppose to do there even if I don't necessarily love moving away at first. Most of the things I thought I couldn't handle well God has thrown me into. He is quite the challenger. Everyone keeps telling us it's our ministry & I don't think I will FULLY realize that until the ministry begins.

    Thank you for your good words & advice. I appreciate & love you!

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